My Growth and Transformation Map

Growing up, I always felt like I wasn't the most popular kid and constantly lacked confidence. I'd always slouch and hunch my shoulders when walking, with a bit of a forward head posture, probably because I grew up in quite a repressive environment. At home and at school, I had to be well-behaved and didn't dare to have too many of my own ideas. Back then, I only knew I had to study hard, get a good job in the future, and then find a good partner to marry and have children. It felt like many girls who attended traditional schools were mostly indoctrinated with this idea. In secondary school, I saw classmates dating, and although I was envious, I was focused on my studies, and my social circle was very narrow, so I had no chance to meet friends of the opposite sex. When I got to university, I continued to focus on my studies and didn't join any clubs. I only started dating in my second year. Although I had a partner, my social circle remained very narrow from university until I started working, so I didn't have many male friends, and only a few female friends. I often envied those popular older students, younger students, and colleagues; so many older and younger male students pursued them, and so many students admired them. But life can be really strange sometimes; just when you think everything has settled down, a lot of changes can happen! I won't go into too much detail here. Later, I realised that the problem wasn't just about whether you made yourself stand out, whether you put effort into dressing up, or whether you found a style that suited you. It was more about where you presented yourself and who you had around you. Simply put, your social circle wasn't wide enough! Back to work, I was a decent teacher in the education sector. But after leaving teaching, I found myself feeling like nothing. People always told me to try and find a job, which is easy to say, but finding employment in middle age, with not-so-fluent English, not being great with computers, and no external work experience! Of course, I tried looking for jobs, but never heard back. After serious consideration, I realised my personality isn't really suited to working in one place. I like to explore new things, I don't like waiting, and I love adventure even more. Sales and marketing are what I love and excel at most. This May, a friend I've known for ten years, who is ten years younger than me, and even a friend I'd blocked from my social media (but not Instagram), actually convinced me to join the insurance industry. Of course, I struggled at first; it would be a lie to say I wasn't resistant. (But honestly, I'm not against the concept of insurance.